2023 Diaries: Prateek Kuhad, and a magical night

It’s been a few months since I’ve shared anything here. A few weeks ago, my dear friend Bea asked me if I’d written anything for my newsletter and how she enjoyed reading my emails.

It had me feeling nostalgic to write, and I kept thinking… why did I stop writing?

I can come up with a number of excuses: personal stuff, work, events, attention span, just all kinds of ish, but the reality is it wasn’t a priority because if it was, I would’ve written more and published these notes and emails I keep stacked here and there. Okay, I feel like I’m sorta schooling myself as I write this. And, here I thought I wouldn’t word vomit like I do in my journal.

Maybe that’s part of what it is too. Writing is such a soul-baring exercise, and its so damn personal. And, not just personal writing, even technical writing for case studies and reports. I’ve had some fun web3 projects, and I legit have been judging my words even as I re-read them. I’ve been struggling to disconnect my work from my personal worth. Even with the tech writing I’m indulging — I keep editing and editing, to make it perfect. I want to share my best work, because it all feels like a reflection of me. Ah, the familiar anxieties that come with work. We move forward not backwards, so I’m going to put a stop to this picking apart exercise and criticism. Done is better than perfect — hell, I know that. I say it all the time. I should put it into practice too.

So let’s go to life updates now. What’s 2023 been like?

So inconsistent. We’re nearing the end of February and I feel like I’ve already experienced the whole year. My birthday was last month. It was amazing. But a few days before it, I got a really upsetting news, and so I’d spent the weekend processing it all. I also watched Prateek Kuhad, live. That’s right. In my dear Dubai, of all places. Hearing him sing was like a dream come true. He’s got such a beautiful voice.

I’m imagining that night now. Swaying as I sing along with a packed stadium. My voice lost in the crowd, as we all sing (and scream) the words with him.

“And if i could hold you
And take you home

If you were mine to keep

I wish i could leave you my love
But my heart, is a mess

My days they begin with your name
And nights end with your breath

With your breath.”

and now I’m thinking of

“Kitne waadein, kitni baatein baaki hain
Kitne din aur kitni raatein baaki hain

Tum jab paas aati ho
Palkon se muskurati ho
Hawaayein bhi gungunati hai
Tum jab paas aati ho”

[translating for you non-Urdu/Hindi readers]

// How many promises, how many conversations are left?

How many days, and how many nights are left?

When you come close

and smile with your eyelashes

the winds hum too

when you come close //

It was such a magical experience, watching him perform. The weather was perfect, the music was perfect, and his voice was perfect. The whole world conspired to bring us this wholesomeness on 14 Jan, 2023.

Music makes me feel alive in ways I can’t explain. It uplifts me, it energizes me, it inspires me. Going to experiences like this makes me feel like the world is magical and hopeful and amazing, because we have the gift of music in it.

I pride myself on discovering artists and listening to their music before they go big, and Prateek is no inception. I’d heard his songs from before he was featured on the Obama year-end list, and that’s something I’m smug about, to no end.

My sister came along to this concert with me too. Her being the ridiculous person she is told me she expected tickets to be free— because she hadn’t heard as much of his music before. Lol. I told her I’d ignore the disrespect and hear no more Prateek Kuhad slander. I know she enjoyed the concert too, even if she’ll disagree.

He repeated a few melodies and songs. And, he’d change guitars after every song. He played different instruments, all of them skillfully. The backup singers and his bandmates had lovely vocals too, as they added their touch with harmonies.

The funny thing is people kept asking him to perform cold/mess after every song. He actually messed w/ the audience saying he was done without performing it, and folks had started walking out, only for him and his band to come back up and perform it, with an encore!

Ah, the harmony of thousands of people singing the song as he sang, his beautiful voice serenading us. It’s a memory I hold dear from this year, and it’s one that I want washed away a tiny bit of the pain and hurt I’d been feeling.

I ended the night on a good note. Got some merch, a necklace that says “the way lovers do” and a cold/mess shirt and pin. We got a Careem cab, and headed home. We were wrapped up and cozy, the weather was soo chilly.

It’s a shame… to think I almost didn’t go, because I was feeling upset, to a night that ended up becoming one of my dearest and favorite nights and musical experiences. I’m thankful for my loved ones, who convinced me to go. And I’m thankful for good music. For good merch. And for good artists, who make the world better, with their art.

With love and gratitude,

Mashal