On life always getting in the way, gratitude,
and how I'm building my weekly writing habit
Today marks 1 month and 12 days since I last published a piece here.
Why the gap in between? Cause life gets in the way. Life always gets in the way. And, instead of being fiercely protective about my writing time, I was passively observing. Passive because I’d think of writing every few days but wouldn’t get to it. I was still better about journaling, but writing publicly? It didn’t feel like enough of a priority.
So, in true priority/work/deadlines fashion, I’ve decided I want to write. Every week, likely every Monday or Wednesday. I’m serious about this, and so life or not, I’ll be building out my writing habit religiously.
I’ve had many days where I’ve thought about writing intensely and in a lazier way -what could be interesting enough to share - what have I thought deeply about? What is worthy enough to write about? The problem with questions that are big and vague, and often intangibly answered - they serve as good excuses, to not write.
One of the vows I’d made to myself - before I decided to get serious about writing was - I’d write for myself. Not for others, on this Substack. And, as I’ve seen people get fixated on numbers and growth, and all kinds of conversations that sometimes take the sheer joy out of things - I wanted this corner of the internet to be built on love, joy, deep feelings, and fun.
One thing I love about writing is how it helps me clarify my own thoughts. It’s why I often turn to it. Words bring me clarity, and help me understand my own self better.
So, I decided to write about gratitude today.
(lol @ thinking I think I won’t write more about it)
I’ve been thinking of gratitude because I’ve been feeling it a lot today. I was budgeting for this month, and the next. And, calculating my numbers and what could work. I felt almost taken over by my own emotions. Up until 2 years ago, I did not have numbers like these to budget from. It makes me teary eyed, even as I write this piece, knowing that I’ve built a business from scratch, and brought it to this point.
You’ll often hear words of gratitude if you’re in my orbit. And I usually am grateful. For everything I have - in the moment, at the minute, and overall in life. But, I’m also grateful for the moment as it passes by, and as I enjoy being in it at that instant. I’m grateful for everything I’ve experienced, every person who’s touched my life, and every moment I’ve been able to live in. You don’t randomly stumble on a lust for life. You actively seek it out. That’s how you live. Or at least, that’s how I like to believe, I live.
It makes for an entertaining life, I’ll give you that. Even in the midst of making difficult decisions, and deciding between safety and uncertainty. Maybe it’s the risk-taking entrepreneur in me, or maybe it’s knowing myself and how I am. I pick uncertainty. While I love routine tasks and habitual things, I’ve lived most of my life, like a series of adventures. Like Famous 5, but the current-day version of it. Friends and family, and shared experiences that make for a life. Few dull moments, if at all. Most often filled with deep, deep emotions.
I’m not sure what the point of this piece was, but I’m fairly certain it was to make me feel better about writing. One thing I’m really looking forward to this month is writing from different perspectives. And, lucky enough, I have a bit of traveling coming up. I want to soak up all the inspiration I can. So, I’ll be writing from airports, and cafes, and couches, and car seats. I make writing sound romantic and romanticized. I know. But, that’s how it is, for me.
With love and gratitude <3
Oh in unrelated news, I’m starting a newsletter series - on cool women who’ve got freaking interesting stories and who also happen to have audiences they’ve grown to millions. I’ll demystify their journey, and how they did it. I’m still thinking of a name for this series. So, I’d love your help.
If you’ve got a suggestion - reply back to this email and give me suggestions. If I pick a title you suggest, I’ll have a book (or cool coaster set) shipped to you :)